Life Frustration

Geez, sometimes I just get so frustrated over the way I feel or the way I am lathargic and not wanting to do anything.Life just throws lemons at you and at times I don't know how to respond but to ask God for help.This is something I should have been doing all along but my priorities have gotten in the way yet again.

I wish my human self would stop being so selfish!But it's an uphill climb all the way, and a battle that only a King can fight.Our King Jesus Christ that is!We don't have the strength on our own yet we continually beat the air like we can win this life struggle.

I wish I could put words to my thoughts but alas my emotions would surely get in the way.The way God has things come into our lives to grow our faith.At the time its way too complicated to understand with our mortal minds.

I extremely dislike taking loans out because that means I will be more indebt than I am now.But unless some miraculous thing happens to pay for the remainder of the schooling for this semester I don't have any options available to me.

God I pray right now that I would commit all this to You and cease trying to take things into my own hands.I cannot do it on my own; help me overcome my fleshly nature.Amen.

I Am Christian

I am Christian by Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'.

"I'm whispering "I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven.

"When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

*Sigh*

You know I think that our life as human beings is like this picture.God only allows us to see part of His will for our lives at a time.If you actually stop and think about this concept you wouldn't ever question God and His workings in the world of today.

Sometimes I think about my life and why it is the way it is.I just can't explain it, the way some things make sense and others don't.The way that I can appreciate the warmth of sunshine on my face or the gorgeous blue sky; but then at other points in time I cannot even begin to comprehend the complexity of a certain human being and their emotions.How vastly misunderstood each human being is in their mind.

It's like I begin to understand the workings of people and why they act the way they do, but then their emotions/feelings get out of control.Then when you think you know them; the thoughts you have of them explode outside the box.So to leave you with something to think about try understanding the inner workings of someone fairly close to you and then see how complicated human beings can be.

At times I don't even understand myself or the way I view or think about a certain situation.It's kinda like you have a specific opinion or viewpoint about a topic but then you totally surprise yourself.

*Think about it.

Contentment

Contentment

Is this what I have

My life

What is it filled with

The message

Does covetousness overwhelm

Questions

So many go unanswered

Belief

Appreciation

Extreme Consciousness

Contentment

The "Go" of Renunciation

". . . someone said to Him, 'Lord, I will follow

You wherever You go' " (Luke 9:57)

Our Lord's attitude toward this man was one of severe discouragement, "for He knew what was in man" (John 2:25) We would have said, "I can't imagine why He lost the opportunity of winning that man! Imagine being so cold to him and turning him away so discouraged!" Never apologize for your Lord. The words of the Lord hurt and offend until there is nothing left to be hurt or offended. Jesus Christ had no tenderness whatsoever toward anything that was ultimately going to ruin a person in his service to God. Our Lord's answers were not based on some whim or impulsive thought, but on the knowledge of "what was in man." If the Spirit of God brings to your mind a word of the Lord that hurts you, you can be sure there is somethingin you that He wants to hurt to the point of its death.

Luke 9:58 These words destroy the argument of serving Jesus Christ because it is a pleasant thing to do. And the strickness of rejection that He demands of me allows for nothing to remain in my life but my Lord, myself, and a sense of desperate hope. He says that I must let everyone else come or go, and that I must be guided solely by my relationship to Him. And He says, ". . . the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head."

Luke 9:59 This man did not want to dissapoint Jesus, nor did he want to show a lack of respect for his father. We put our sense of loyalty to our relatives ahead of our loyalty to Jesus Christ, forcing Him to take last place. When our loyalties conflict, always obey Jesus Christ whatever the cost.

Luke 9:61 The person who says, "Lord, I will follow You, but . . . ," is the person who is intensely ready to go, but never goes. This man had reservations about going. The exacting call of Jesus has no room for good-byes, as we often use them, are pagan, not Christian, because they divert us from the call. Once the call of God comes to you, start going and never stop.

Have you ever felt the pressure to succeed in this life?To just be great, have an excellent job that brings in a lot of money . . . the pressure to just do.To do more than just be average, to come up with all these ideas that inevitably just end up in a box somewhere undiscovered by society.The presure to have it all together, to not struggle, ever!To be more & somehow within it all . . . lose yourself & your identity as a person; as an individual.

I have so many questions right now.Like was I brought here to Seattle to just struggle?To be closer to God; I know that, but now I have concerns about finances.But I know Jehoveh Jireh, He's my provider.But I also know that God must have something down the road waiting for me like He had Annanias waiting for Paul when he was turned from Saul on the road to Damascus & became blind.In the past experiences I've had, I've learned not to want to see in the future.I also know that if I did have that talent that I may be depressed all the time because my heart wouldn't be able to handle all of it.

I know I don't want to go into Interior Design.Right now has been the worst ever for me, it's the first time I've not enjoyed drawing.It's like I make it a burden for homework.Now that I have to draw all these things, it's no fun anymore.

I know I want to be totally surrendered to God, but I think that's what is frightening me the most.To not be in control of my life; to say "here God, you take the wheel & I'll just ride & watch."You know how nervous I get riding in the passenger side!

So it's a for sure thing that I still want to major in Spanish.But now I have to deicide what my career is going to be.I have to decide soon . . . Sometimes I wish it was easier to know what career path to follow, I wish that God could just lay my life plans out in front of me so I could see where I'm suppose to end up.I want to have a good job that brings in a decent income, but that is where I leave off & God takes the lead.

You Are 24 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Mundane Monday

It is Monday again and what a great weekend I have had.I joined Arianna again with Megan at Bethany Community Church for Sunday's service.I have enjoyed the college group but the pastor doesn't seem to get his inspiration from the Holy Spirit.(Although it is totally not up to me to judge someones heart.)Not to rush it too fast but I'm excited to take a break from Seattle and go home to Kennewick this coming weekend.Speaking about time flying, I can't believe it's almost march!!It seems like I just celebrated the coming of another year yesterday.I guess time is as the Scriptures state, a grasping for the wind.You can't catch it even if you tried.(Sometimes I wish that I could just freeze moments in time and savor them forever!)

I had a really good quiet time yesterday and I think it was because it was actually quiet in my apt and I could really focus on God and His Word.No noisy neighbors to bother me and no music or television on to distract me from the Bible.God has been so wonderful lately, just showing me Him through His creation.Sometimes I am filled with such awes over how and why He created this place called Earth and why He chose me to fulfill His calling.It's all so magnificent!

I have been praying lately that I am making the right decision about moving back home for next quarter.It seems at times that all I can to is trust God with my life, because I know that He has everything under control.I mean He made me, so therefore He knows what is good for me and knows what I am going to think , say and do before it happens.I think I'm going to include one of my favorite Scripture passages here.

Psalm 139
1O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.2Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.3Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.4For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.5Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

7Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.11If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.12Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

13For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.14I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.15My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.16Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.17How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!18If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

19Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.20For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.21Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?22I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.23Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Beautiful Flowers!!

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative.You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential.Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them.As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?